Child Scared of the Dark? Why Bedtime Fear Happens (and What to Do)
If your child is scared of the dark and bedtime has become a bit of a struggle, you're not alone.
So many parents of toddlers and young children tell me the same thing: bath, teeth, story, tucked in, lights off... and then the calling out starts.
"There's something under the bed."
"I heard a noise."
"Can you check the wardrobe again?"
It's exhausting.
And it can leave you wondering what you're doing wrong.
You're not doing anything wrong.
And neither is your child.
Why bedtime fear is so common
Between 30 and 50 percent of children aged three to seven experience at least one intense fear and the most common ones are darkness, imaginary creatures like monsters and trolls, and real creatures like spiders, bats and snakes. Especially at bedtime.
So if your child is lying awake convinced there's something under the bed, they are completely, entirely, wonderfully normal. And so, by the way, were you.
What's really going on for your child at night
A young mind is still learning the difference between what's real and what's imagined.
In the quiet and the dark, with nothing to see or hear, imagination fills the space and for a sensitive child, that space quickly fills with fear.
What to do when your child is scared of the dark
Your job isn't to talk your child out of their fear, or to convince them monsters aren't real. Your job is to be the calm in the dark.
This is exactly why I wrote Scaredy Bear's Courageous Tale, a story about a little bear who's frightened of everything in the dark, until he discovers he has a safe place inside his own mind he can go to, any time fear shows up.
"The beach was the bear's safe place in his mind, when he felt scared it was easy to find."
That line isn't just a nice bit of verse, it's the seed of a real, usable technique.
Because your child can have a safe place too.
Somewhere just for them, that they can return to in their mind whenever fear visits at bedtime, or anywhere else.
Enjoyed the Blog? Listen to the Podcast...
This post only touches on part of it.
In Episode 1 of Behind the Stories - When the Lights Go Out, Helping Your Child Through Bedtime Fear, I go much deeper into what's happening for your child at bedtime, and walk you through the full S.A.F.E Place technique, free, so you can use it tonight.
🎧 Listen now: Behind the Stories, on Spotify. Episode 1 - When the Lights Go Out, Helping Your Child Through Bedtime Fear
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