Why Does My Child Cry So Much and How Can I Help?
Have you ever watched your child cry and felt completely helpless?
You don't know why they're crying.
They don't know why they're crying.
And nothing you do seems to help.
Or maybe you've felt that rising urge to make it stop, not because you don't care, but because their pain feels like your pain, and somewhere inside you, a voice is saying
"I need to fix this, now."
I know that feeling.
And I want you to know it doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong.
Why "stop crying" doesn't work
We say it because we want to help.
"Don't cry."
"It's okay, stop now."
But so often, it doesn't work and sometimes it makes the tears come harder.
That's because the tears were never the problem.
They're the release.
There's something really comforting I learned that I want to share with you.
A feeling in the body only lasts around 90 seconds.
Ninety seconds.
If your child is still crying long after that, it's often not the original feeling anymore it's them retelling that feeling to themselves, over and over.
Which means something quite beautiful: if you can just sit with your child through those 90 seconds
no fixing, no rushing, no judgement
the feeling really does begin to shift, all on its own.
What your child actually needs from you
Not answers.
Not a distraction.
Not "cheer up, it'll be fine."
Just you.
Sitting there. Patient. Listening.
You don't need to find the reason they're sad. You just need to find them, in it.
Sad Seal Saves the Day
This is exactly why I wrote 'Sad Seal Saves the Day' a story about a little seal who cries so much, his tears flood an entire town.
He thinks he's broken. He's actually extraordinary.
"It's ok to be sad and shed some tears, it's often a way to release your fears."
That line isn't just something nice to read at bedtime, it's permission.
Permission your child can hear, again and again, until it becomes something they simply know to be true.
So what do you actually do?
Give them permission, it really is okay to feel sad, and they don't need a reason.
Let the tears come, without rushing them to finish.
And once the feeling has passed through, you'll often find something lovely happens, there's space again.
For calm.
For a bit of joy.
For them to feel like themselves again.
I share a gentle, free technique in the podcast called the S.E.A.L. technique - a simple way to help your child name what they're feeling, and move through it, rather than getting stuck there.
Enjoyed the Blog? Listen to the Podcast...
This post only touches on part of it.
In Episode 4 of Behind the Stories - When Sadness Feels Overwhelming, What Your Child Really Needs, I go much deeper into why children feel so lost in sadness, walk you through the full S.E.A.L. technique, and share why your child's sensitivity might just be their greatest gift.
🎧 Listen now: Behind the Stories, on Spotify. Episode 4 — When Sadness Feels Overwhelming, What Your Child Really Needs.
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